born on April 7th

work anxiety sucks

ang tagal mag open ng wildflour baguio mygaaaaaad

part of me wants to go back to church and cry it all to worship songs but a much larger part of me doesn’t want to be with probably the most judgmental group of people.

but we don’t talk about that here.

thinking of getting my nails done after an 8-month break because of psoriasis flare ups but ive gotten comfortable with not having them done so now i dont know what to do

i finally own more house clothes and pjs than outside clothes.

i remember moving out of my mom’s toxic house with just 1 luggage and an Ikea bag 4 years ago. it felt like a leap of faith, no savings and new job, just sheer will to get out of what felt like a hellhole. from repeating pjs twice to not having to worry about when my laundry will be delivered because i have more than enough to wear for the week.

thank God for a work that pays well, a home without an angry lady, and a closet that’s proof of a life lived (not a proof of escape).

i’ll be okay

im addicted to my phone and it’s making me big saddddddd. having “movement” weekends actually help but weekdays make everything worse. i consume so much media and i can physically feel my brain shrinking. hayyyy, it’s just disappointing kasi i consider this media consumption as my break from work stress but does it really relax me?? no sir it does not. it’s just distracting me. honestly, this addiction will be the death of me. i just might resort to smoking– something i never caught on before but it now seems like a cooler fixation than this constant media consumption.

I pray to God that in another lifetime im a Scandinavian girl riding my bike with one hand and coffee on the other, wearing thrifted Levis 501s, heavy knit jumper and a worn out Kanken backpack, with just enough free time to lay down on grasslands to start my day.

no worries, no responsibilities, no bills.

just blonde (or brunette), pretty, and tall.

i almost forgot that Sigrid exists!!!!

listening to her again got me feeling nostalgic for my early 20s and times when i was gatekeeping her music like my own little secret because not everyone will get it. i always thought of myself as a special snowflake – cooler than everyone else with very niche taste (just like every young adult with insecure identity)

my brother and i went on an early morning hike and it was surprisingly fun given our lack of preparedness. clearly, i underestimated the cold and overestimated my body insulation capacity. temperature dropped to 11’c but it felt like 5’c with the cold wind on light layers of clothing.

i remember hiking the same mountain with my friends 10 years ago (damn. has it really been that loooooong??) but i don’t remember the hike being so tiring. i felt my knees and back hurting and my endurance has declined by a lot.

it was a challenging way to end the week and start the weekend but i promised to do hard things so hello to this hard thing and all the other hard things i’ll do.