im addicted to my phone and it’s making me anxious as fyck. having “movement” weekends actually help but weekdays make everything worse. i consume so much media and i can physically feel my brain shrinking. hayyyy, it’s just disappointing kasi i consider this media consumption as my break from work stress but does it really relax me?? no sir it does not. it’s just distracting me. honestly, i might just resort to smoking (something i never caught on before but it now seems like a cooler fixation than this constant media consumption)

my brother and i went on an early morning hike and it was surprisingly fun given our lack of preparedness. clearly, i underestimated the cold and overestimated my body’s capacity. temperature dropped to 11’c but it felt like 5’c with the cold wind on light layers of clothing.

i remember hiking the same mountain with my friends 10 years ago (damn. has it really been that loooooong??) but i don’t remember the hike being so tiring. i felt my knees and back hurting and my endurance has declined by a lot.

it was a challenging way to end the week and start the weekend but i promised to do hard things so hello to this hard thing and all the other hard things i’ll do.

i used to have a habit of writing reminders to my future self. whenever i was spiraling or stuck in a depressing moment, i’d leave a note on my calendar for that exact same date, one year later. it was a message sent into the dark, a quiet hope that by the time i read it, things would finally be better.

i haven’t felt the need to do that lately. the perks of having my journal to share the heavy moments with has changed everything. but now, i want to start writing to my future self again not to survive the bad days, but to celebrate the good ones. i want next year’s version of me to remember exactly how much joy i am feeling right now.

i don’t care how many bridges i burn because i know how to fucking swim.

finally spent a weekend in cozy pjs and heated rivalry

may i always have the courage to dream and the strength to make those dreams reality

i must remain kind because others aren’t

home is where i want to be

i guess that this must be the place

a few changes i want to bring into this year because i’ve curated my life in a Pinterest board.

• trading my micro bags for a carry-all that actually fits my life that is my journal, my camera, a snack, a book i’m reading.

• prioritizing consistency over intensity. i’m no longer counting steps or having multiple pilates classes a week.now it’s just about showing up for my body everyday.

• i don’t want to own a lot of stuff but i want to be able to curate the items i add to my cart. owning a few pieces that actually resonate with me and not just buying whats trendy.

• finding a hobby. i take my music taste seriously so why not make it a hobby?

• trading screen time for frolicking. i want to feel more sand in between my toes and touch some grass.

• a third space. having a cafe or a restaurant that feels like home and be a regular and do regulars shit like sit at the same table and order “the usual”.

this year i just want to feel the life in quiet moments and to be more intentional in the things i do.

i want to create more and consume less.