i never really played “bride”/ “mother” pretends as a child and it shows. i haven’t felt the need to be a mother or a wife at this big age, it would be nice if it happens but i wouldn’t mind it if it doesn’t. a lot of my friends are getting married and having kids but here i am planing what to do on my long weekend because what else is there for me to fucking do.

i’m not sure if i’m too comfortable being alone or if its because i haven’t met a person who has that husband/father-of-my-child potential. not gonna lie, not having a partner to share life with scares the bejesus out of me. people date to marry but i’m not sure if i have the energy for that. dating is already hard, marrying the wrong person is much much harder.

sometimes i regret not dating a lot when i was younger, i spent all my time being loyal in longterm relationshits, but it’s also a good thing since i think everyone has HIV. every guy just seems so nonchalant with wandering eyes, or broke, or too young, or married. i don’t want my sweet soul to rot just to be with someone, life’s too short for that. i want a love that drowns me with just enough space to breathe.

i did play “princess” a lot when i was younger, which probably sums up who i want to be and how i want to be treated haha